It's February, and besides all the excitement associated with President's Day, Valentine's Day is just around the corner. I have very strong feelings about this holiday, and in the past they have been nothing but negative. However, in a riveting two-part post I will explain first what my past issues with February 14th have been, and then why I've come around to a more positive point of view.This crazy holiday is such an easy target for criticism: the extreme over-commercialization, the insipid little candy hearts which completely mock the ideals of love, and the stress this holiday puts on casual relationships! Need I go on? I have long held that this holiday must be stopped! In the name of love!
For me this holiday is especially painful due to my issues with the word 'love'. I could very likely count on one hand the number of people I have said the 'L' word to, and I don't mean just romantically, I mean at all. Most attempts to verbalize the words to other humans result in a sudden hot flash, accompanied by a restricted airway-type feeling. This makes things difficult around Valentine's Day when it is IMPOSSIBLE to escape the 'L' word. However I like to think that this physiological abnormality is not so much a result of my being emotionally stunted, but rather a safety mechanism of sorts which helps me understand and preserve the real meaning of the word 'love'.
I've always thought of valentines day as representing the worst of and even mocking love. It debases love, and turns it into a commercial commodity. Something that is to be bought with roses and chocolates, or expressed to people we may not even like with little candy hearts. Is this what love is? No. But this seems to be what Valentine's Day is about. It takes the most complicated emotions and attempts to contain all the complexity in one icky little symbol, the heart. Not only that but the perpetuators of Valentine's Day attempt to sell this symbol in every possible form: chocolate hearts, gummy hearts, heart balloons, stuffed hearts, heart-shaped cards, lace hearts, cases of soda in the shape of hearts, heart shaped flowers, and more!
I realize that some of you who enjoy Valentine's Day will write my opinions off as those of a bitter single person, and I may be both bitter and single. However, no matter what my Facebook relationship status may say, I doubt that a day full of chocolate and giant, pink, heart pillows will ever be a day I can enjoy.
Coming soon: How I've Decided to Cope with, and Even Make the Most of February 14th
5 comments:
i appreciate the honesty...and i seem to find myself agreeing with most things you say, as i may be escaping the weekend by driving 16 hours away; a trip that i both don't have the time or money to truly enjoy...am i bitter?? it's questionable.
xo
I agree on the overuse of the word love. I try to defend my understanding of it all the time and it never works.
Oh Jennifer...I have just found the perfect Valentines present that I can give to you. I will plaster the room with pink sparkling cut-out hearts and cover your sacred pillow with edible hearts that express all the words associated with this beloved holiday for you to read all night. For the sake of not making you uncomfortable I will refrain from using the "L" word in my comment. Looking forward to part II of the ode to Valentines day.
haha you have Love Asthma!!! I figured it out. I guess you really Do have asthma... Anyways, I, like you, have felt this way about Valentines' Day for many years but I find myself thinking differently about it this year... However, I do still believe that it is over-commercialized and I laugh at the ridiculousness that overtakes department stores 2 months prior to the actual day. However, I feel like the intent of the day is a good one. All in all, I love your blog like always.
-Whitney
Jen,
I really like your take on Valentines day.........When my kids were younger we had so much fun on Valentines day..........We made cookies or cupcakes or whatever we wanted to and we made enough for every child......baby to whatever age they were and we made personalized valentines for every one we thought of in our neighborhood. We then got in the car and it took us about an hour or so and we delivered valentines with a smile on our face to people who werent expecting a valentine. Someone brought Ainsley a valentine when she was only one yrs old and it made me feel so happy that we did that every yr until my cat died and I fell apart.........but that is another story but we loved making the valentine boxes and putting paper doilies on them and stickers and everyone getting a valentine from everyone in there class and then we got to drive around and give out our gift that said we were thinking of that person and it was great........................I dont particularly think valentines is a romantic holiday...........really that gets dumb even when you are married and not single...........who cares about celebrating that.........lets see we have our anniversary to celebrate that and whatever..............Valentines day should just be a day to be nice to people and let them know they are important........gag on the romance.........barfo!!!
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