Least Favorite Thing? Fiber One

I did a 'favorite things' post....but that was awkward for me. I'm not naturally a positive, tell-the-world-about-the-things-I-like-type person. Unfortunately talking about, discussing, criticizing, and generally ridiculing the things I don't like - now that rolls right off my tongue. Today some co-workers of mine reminded me of something I really dislike: Fiber One.

They lure you in with the healthy buzz word 'Fiber'. You think hey, I am supposed to have twice as much fiber in my diet (according to WebMD). Some brilliant doctors even recommend fiber to help with weight loss, so you think hey! Healthy weight loss! Brilliant! Sign me up!

So you eat some Fiber One products, expecting to avoid constipation and lose weight. Well duh you're going to lose weight when your entire system empties itself out in one day! Fiber One makes your digestive system a veritable slip 'n slide! Who wants to spend more time at work on the porcelain chair than in the office chair? Who wants to have to plan every hour of their day so that a clean, flushing toilet is never more than two minutes away? I once ate four Fiber One muffins in a day (not all in one sitting mind you, just throughout the day I would grab one of the muffins that was sitting on my counter, not knowing that they were Fiber One muffins) and I couldn't do anything to stop my digestive system for a week!

My experience with Fiber One products? Not good, and my experience has been corroborated by several people I know. It's like taking a chewy (in the case of the Fiber One bars) or crunchy (in the case of the cereals) laxative! It will open your eyes to the amount of crap (literally) that is inside your body by cleaning it all right out of you. If people were meant to eat that much fiber, we'd be herbivores who just ate grains all day....like horses!

Now I understand that there are situations which may call for desperate digestive relief, but at the very least I think the following warning should appear on each and every Fiber One label so no unsuspecting people with normal digestive systems are turned inside-out by this stuff:


WARNING: Not to be consumed in large quantities unless a SERIOUS blockage is impeding your digestive abilities. If consumed unnecessarily, leakage may occur. Fiber One is not responsible for any ruined undergarments, emotional damage to other human beings in your vicinity, or mental problems that may result from spending an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom.

You're better off with Fiber NONE than Fiber One!