The Travel Test

UPDATE: Apparently I jinxed myself with this post. I made a commitment to do better, and today I was given a great opportunity to do just that. It started with an hour and a half long drive from Bowling Green to Nashville, where our flight was delayed by 45 minutes due to an issue with the "air conditioning" - an excuse which was also given on my flight yesterday, though later we were told we had to wait for the captain to get back from "running up to eat his dinner." So, I'm thinking that "air conditioning" is code for something much less important. It seemed that almost every single person on the flight was trying to make connecting flights, so a good five minutes before the "ding" sounded to let us know we could get up and get off the plane, people were jumping out of seats and throwing open the overhead bins to grab bags. 

There were a handful of us trying to make the flight to Salt Lake, at least six, and when my speediest/long-leggiest co-worker arrived at the gate, they had just closed the boarding doors (10 minutes early despite the fact that there were at least six of us coming from a flight which they had to know had been delayed but had arrived at the airport. The plane was still sitting there as the rest of us got to the gate...but once shut, that boarding door is as unmovable an object as exists. So, some frustration was coming up. 

They started to book us on the next available flight, 2:30pm tomorrow - what's an extra 18 hours really? There was an 8:55am flight available, but only my dad was able to get on that one due to his lofty travel status. However, because I have some pressing things happening tomorrow, my dad was very kind and switched flights with me. THANKS DAD! As part of the process, I asked the gate agent if she could change my name from WESR to WEST, and the answer...that would be a 'no'. Once a ticket has been booked, there are no name changes, so in the 15 seconds between when I started making the request and when I finished, apparently that ticket was booked and I was out of luck. (Interestingly, in Nashville, I went through security without addressing the name issue. I ended up int he line with TWO TSA agents checking every ticket, but neither one caught the discrepancy. I think it was because I distracted them with really charming small talk, referring to them both as 'sir' several times.)

Next up - let's get some hotel rooms. Oh wait. They're "out" of hotels that they can pay for. What we can do is to book rooms ourselves, from their list of discounted hotels, and then submit the receipts later for reimbursement. Really appreciate that offer, so generous. I maintained a decent attitude through all of this, I was rising above, I was doing better. 

My co-worker's sister (a Dallas resident) was kind enough to pick us up from the airport in her very small two door vehicle. After a long, humid day, three of us squished together in the back seat and appreciated the fact that there was a strong deodorant small, rather than another strong odor. 

When we arrived at our chosen (non-discount) hotel, I was determined to order some really expensive room service. I walked into my room, dropped my bags and went straight for the menu. I read that room service ended at 11pm, no all-night options...and I slowly turned around to see that the alarm clock read 11:11pm. In high school my friends would always say, "It's 11:11, make a wish!" My wish....room service, and alas, it was not to be. There is a market in the lobby and I had seen some nestle milk bottles, so I got a bag of Cheetos and was looking forward to washing them down with chocolate milk. Oh but guess what? They only had strawberry milk and banana milk. STRAWBERRY AND BANANA! I haven't ever even seen banana milk before in my life. Cursed! 

You would think that we would be able to get a decent meal, paid for by the airline. Our food vouchers however, offered $12 for dinner and $7 for breakfast. Guess what the IRS says is the standard amount which should be provided for travel meals in Dallas? $23 per meal. So....American Airlines apparently has a much different method for making these calculations. I was dismayed at this development. And then I was told that these vouchers were only valid at airport culinary establishments. GAME OVER. 

No more being a better person. I could handle being stripped of my identity and being kept from my home and my cats, but I WILL NOT BE DEPRIVED OF MY RIGHT TO A DECENT MEAL. American Airlines has crossed the line. I will not smile at any of their employees tomorrow when I go back for my flight. And I will make the flight attendants give me extra napkins if they spill soda on me again. And I will recline my seat if a short person is sitting behind me. I might just put my small bag in the overhead bin sideways so it takes up the maximum amount of space, and I will not be giving them a good post-flight review when they send me that survey. 

I am not a better person, I am an angry and inconvenienced traveler. 

Today I am traveling to Bowling Green, Kentucky - one might think I am writing this to brag and make everyone jealous of my exotic travels compared to their lowly summer vacations to Lake Powell, Boston, Disney World, Mexico, etc. But one would be wrong in that assumption. 

I arrived at the airport in plenty of time, checked in, and was waiting in the security line when I realized the name listed in my ticket was JENNIFER WESR. Crap. So I schlepped back to the counter to explain the situation and see what could be done. The woman there told me that the name is pretty close, she understood how such a typo could happen since the 't' is right next to the 'r' on the keyboard, but that she couldn't change the name on the reservation so close to departure. She told me to go to security and see if they will "just not be so picky and let me through." Despite the fact that I was pretty sure they wouldn't, and that I would've just stayed in the security line if I had thought that was a possibility but instead wanted to take responsibility for my own issue and proactively solve it without holding up the line...despite that, I went back to security. When I reached the TSA agent and explained the problem, she said, "If it had been spelled WETS or WSET or something like that, it would be closer." I'm not sure that's true, but the explanation of the proximity of the 'r' and the 't' on the keyboard wasn't cutting it with her. Apparently the TSA is understanding of dyslexic mistakes, but keyboard-proximity typos...not so much. If I were a terrorist, I might look at ways to exploit this. 

"DAM that's great art" The girl sitting next to me when I took this photo
looked pretty concerned/disgusted about whatever she thought
 I was doing. 

I should note that when I first asked the TSA worker about my ticket issue she very noticeably looked down at my chest before responding. Today I am wearing a favorite t-shirt which, as you may notice, very prominently displays the word DAM, which in this case stands for Denver Art Museum where I bought the shirt. But of course it isn't spelled the way the swear version is. While I can't be sure about the reason for the woman's inappropriately focused stare moment, due to the fact that her  initial friendly, helpful tone definitely lessened immediately afterwards, my guess is that it was related to the prominence of the word DAM. I would assume that if there was a different sort of motivation behind the stare, her tone would have changed from friendly to friendlier. However I can't say that I'm endowed in a way that generally excites attention and positive responses, so maybe her lack of helpfulness was a result of disappointment at what she saw. Who knows. 

Anyway, after being cast aside by my less-than-subtle TSA friend, I trudged back to the American Airlines counter, telling the woman they weren't going to let me in but that they said I could get a security pass. Her response? "Sure, I'll get that for you right now," and she had it printed for me in less than a minute. So then I was

confused...this woman had told me to try the security because she couldn't change my ticket, she clearly knew that a security pass was used in such situations and would require almost no effort on her part to provide one for me, but I hauled my bags back to and through the security line (maybe only the second time ever when I didn't check my bag) just to see if they might not be as picky as she knew they usually were? In Geometry I learned that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, and the line between the counter and security in Terminal 1 is a straight line, but the shortness principle only applies if you don't have to walk it four times.

And what happened next? I went to a shop at the airport to buy some headphones since I had none for the flight. The employee working there immediately pounced, and when I tried to explain that I just wanted very simple basic headphones, she insisted on getting my entire listener profile - Would I be watching movies? Did I care more about strong bass or clarity of sound? How deep did I want the headphones to go into my ears? (What are the possible answers to that question - do some people prefer 1/2 inch insertions while others like 1/4 inch?) When I explained that I don't like them to go into my ears at all, and that I just wanted something like my basic Apple headphones, she walked me over to the "cheap" end of the wall which contained only the insert-into-ear variety. Finally I saw a pair of over-ear headphones that were only $25 and said I'd take those, insisting on my choice after she tried to show me the better over-ear options. On our walk to the counter, she also attempted to sell me a portable charger, an iPhone case, and phone cleaner. There should be a law against hard-selling people in airports. Isn't there some kind of rule about not being able to take advantage of a captive audience? If I hadn't just had to check-in three times (each encounter with the American Airlines woman required her to uncheck me in), and go through security twice, I might actually have been feeling generous enough to buy something a little pricier to help this woman make a bigger commission. But I had exhausted my patient and generous quota. 

As I walked to my gate, I heard a man  behind me speaking to his friend, with a lovely, attractive southern drawl, saying, "I don't know why we all just can't be decent to each other." And I was immediately feeling a little ashamed. I treat traveling as a challenge and a test of my character. Or maybe I just see it as an opportunity to be better than other people, a much less noble motivation, but maybe more accurate. I have heard horror stories about travel workers and travelers behaving badly, so whether it's passengers, TSA workers, flight attendants, etc., I am determined that no one will have to do extra work because of me, and no one's day will be worsened because of me. Examples: I never recline my seat. I never ask for drink refills or blankets. I never put my carry-on in the overhead if it is at all possible to fit it under the seat. I am willing to be the recipient of chatter when sitting next to someone who seems to need a listening ear, or just likes to chat. I always give flight crews good reviews when I get post-flight surveys. I never complain when I'm near children who fall asleep on my lap, and try really, really hard not to complain when they pelt me with goldfish crackers. I even occasionally smile at people walking by. I know it's probable that these very, very small efforts really make no difference to anyone. But at the end of my journey I usually feel proud, maybe even a little self-righteous, like I sacrificed for the good of others. It doesn't speak well of my selflessness or considerateness that I feel a sense of pride at simply refraining from potentially inconveniencing people. I am nowhere near being the person who brings doughnuts for the flight crew (see previous post) and unfortunately even my minimally better self seems to be a magical character transformation that only lasts till I walk out of the airport. 

Today I felt a little bit proud for not being short with any airport people, and being outwardly appreciative for the not-so helpful assistance they provided. And yet here I am writing a post criticizing them for the way they handled problems I created in the first place for not typing my name correctly and forgetting my headphones. So I'm going to better. And I'm not even going to mention the flight attendant who spilled soda on me, wiped up part of my tray table, and told me just to put it up anyway where it would drip onto my newly-purchased headphones in the seat pocket. But I WILL mention the very kind teenager who used her last two tissues to clean it up for me. 

3 Hashtags to Describe the "Single Adult" World

While I was in Chicago last week I went to an SA ( LDS Single Adults over 30) Ward with a friend who is over 30 but not single. It was a testimony meeting, so a variety of different ward members (and leaders) spoke. After the meeting my friend commented on how great she thought the meeting was, and how she admired the people there, and since I mostly felt discouraged, I was surprised how different our experiences were. This Ward (branch actually, too small to be a Ward) was a great example of the single adult environment not just over 30, but probably over 25. It offered perfect examples of the 3 hashtags which most effectively describe SA Wards:

1 - #HumbleBrag

Every testimony meeting in every Ward includes a humble brag or two; however, with SAs the problem becomes more pronounced, and not just at testimony meeting. At a certain point in every single person's life, you suddenly realize that you don't have built-in story recipients anymore. You don't come home at the end of the day and have your family to talk to about the little things that happen on an average day. Your close friends get married, have kids, move away, and people just get spread out. You might have roommates, but even then they're all busy professionals or students with independent lives and you don't generally sit down together for a meal or to rehash the day. So, single people can sometimes get backed up with conversation without an outlet. Of course for the big stuff we can call or get together with friends and family, but the little things that might be nice to share (I got a 98 on my term paper and the professor used it as an example in class) or even just interesting thoughts (Doesn't it seem as though, anatomically speaking, it would make more sense for women to wear pants and men to wear skirts?) get kind of stifled and tucked away. But things start to leak out.

I was once given an analogy for this sort of phenomenon. Think of an old wood burning stove. There will be smoke in the stove, but if the chimney pipe is closed off, the smoke will find a way out anyway, just not where you want it to get out. 

Specifically, I've observed that most (though not all) single people above 25 tend to talk about themselves and their thoughts a lot. They bring up stories when they aren't completely relevant to the current topic of conversation or they passive aggressively try to elicit questions for which they have answers they want to give. It's not a purposefully selfish thing in most cases, in fact it's completely understandable. I sometimes feel that I am constantly trying to plug leaking holes of over-sharing (example of leaking hole - this blog, clearly not plugging this one right now). It's tricky and I understand that, but it's not endearing or appealing. And when SAs are given a platform for sharing AND an opportunity to strut their stuff in front of potential dates (testimony meeting) - it tends to get ugly.

This Ward was no exception, started out with bang. The newly called 2nd counselor (only single member of the branch presidency) spent 15 minutes humble-bragging about the process of getting his calling: how many other people could have gotten it - but that he did, how he knows the Lord thinks he (the speaker) can help all of us (congregation), etc. Another one said he wanted to talk about honoring women but mostly just talked about all the things that make him a great son, and as a bonus - his "testimony" included a little bit of creepy discussion about wombs. And it went on from there....

2 - #WhereAreTheNormalAndCoolPeople?
There are three types of LDS SAs - those who don't come to church at all, those who come and leave after one meeting, and the types who come to church, stay all 3 hours, serve in at least one calling, and go to almost every random activity. Personally I have been part of both the first and second groups, and will probably never be in the third. But I aspire to be a three hour church attendee and occasional activity attendee. The problem is...it's really hard to find other middle people! When looking to be part of the ward community I am unlikely to find very compatible people in the third group. There are a few nuggets, but they're also considered the most normal in that group and the most pursued...and the competition is just way too much work. The second group has potential. They obviously don't come for the social connection, and they're old enough that no one is making them come, and it would be easy not to go at all, so I appreciate the apparent level of commitment to coming to church. The problem is how to get to know the people that leave! 


I propose a secret linger longer/much n' mingle in the parking lot after sacrament meeting where the leavers can really just be seen as grabbing some food on their way out and sometimes happen to meet other people, not because they're trying or need anyone or anything, but just without making any effort and without being one of "those" single ward weirdos they end up chatting with some chill people. In Chicago there were at least 3 (out of the total 15-20 people there) leavers. They were there before the sacrament was passed and were gone before the closing prayer.

3 - #TimeToLowerYourStandards 
My friend could look at this Ward with a degree of detachment because she wasn't and won't be dependent on them. I, of course, am not attached to that particular group in Chicago, but it doesn't inspire hope for the future. When I expressed dismay at the fact that this was my pool of options, she of course brought up the fact that I'm not 30 so my pool is bigger, and that we were in inner city Chicago. She also made a good point that I may not find someone as smart or thoughtful or ambitious or grounded as I would like, and I need to be open to that possibility. In other words she was telling me I need to face the realization all SAs ultimately reach: I might just have to settle. 



You know those standards you set? The "musts" in potential friends? The "husband list" you made with roommates in college and that you basically add to all the time when you see attractive, kind or interesting men? Might be time to give those up. 

• 
You can be just fine with friends who don't know who is running for president (other than Mitt Romney who should DEFINITELY have won last time), and love nothing more than 80's and country dancing in Provo, followed by froyo and movie night with whichever boys in the area will have them. Definitely, right?
• You can date someone who wants to take you to nickel cade and agrees to split the tickets earned from the games (acting as though this is a chivalrous thing to do, despite the fact that you won most of them). Sure, better than nothing right?
• You can be friends with people who only listen to classical music, make their own clothes, and want to stay late after Sunday School, asking you to hold their New Testament while they refer to it to finish writing margin notes in their Book of Mormon. No problem, right?
• You can date someone who knows almost nothing about sports in general, literally will ONLY ever talk about Philosophical topics such as Kant's Categorical Imperative, insists on pointing out logical fallacies in everyone's everyday speech (the Philosophy version of a grammar nazi, but much worse), and shaves every visible portion of his body because he thinks complete hairlessness is really attractive. You could be very happy together, right?
• You can be friends with someone who constantly talks about her rugby team, dreams of being a US Marshall, and offers to "beat up" every guy that comes up in a negative way during any conversation. Loyalty is a really rare quality, right?
• You can date a guy who casually mentions the number of women he slept with after his divorce but before his conversion to Mormonism (in a repentant, "I didn't realize how lost I was but also I want you to know how cool I am" kind of way) and who is also closer to your mom's age than yours. It's all ok...right?You could be very happy together, right?

FYI - All of these represent real, mostly nice people whom I have encountered and who I was friends with (at some level) or dated (at some level). Are my standards too high?

I suppose the lesson is that to appreciate and survive the SA world I've got to laugh at the quirks and be more open-minded about the different types of people there. After all, the only ways out are death or marriage. 

Utah vs. BYU

Disclaimer: This has nothing to do with sports.

I'm in the middle of my third semester at the U, finishing the Philosophy degree I started at the Y. This is the list of things I've noticed (so far) that work a little differently at each school:

	At BYU	At the U
Choosing a seat:	It was all about keeping a low profile (in the back) and having the most comfortable chair.	It’s all about avoiding lung cancer. Just trying not to sit next to classmates with secondhand smoke wafting off of them.
Religious Questions from Classmates or Professors:	"Which of the prominent ethical theories matches best with the teachings of the Book of Mormon?" Note: My answer is Ethical Egoism.	“Is anyone familiar with modern Mormon theology as it relates to the consumption of chocolate covered espresso beans?" Also, “Do Mormons allow BLANK?” Note: Blank usually refers to various sexual terms which, I admit, I usually have to look up on Urban Dictionary. Now I know that a good rule of thumb for any future questions - if I have to look something up on Urban Dictionary, the answer as it relates to Mormon values is probably, "Ummmm...no."
Parking:	Bad. Parking tickets galore!	Bad. I couldn’t get a parking ticket if I wanted to because there aren’t even any illegal parking spots available!
Talking to Professors:	It can be a little awkward to refer to a professor as “Brother Smith.”	It’s EXTREMELY awkward to refer to a professor as “Brother” anything. Bad mistake. Way worse than calling your elementary school teacher "Mom."
The Weekends:	80’s dancing, country dancing, going to the “hot pots,” hiking the Y. And I was the weird one who never did that stuff.	Almost a year of interacting with other students without even ONE reference to 80’s dancing, country dancing, hot pots, or hiking any letter of the alphabet, Y or U.
Inspiration:	“I was reading D&C 84 last night and...”	“I was a little loaded last night and..."
Caffeine on Campus:	“I’m going over to the gas station between classes for a Mountain Dew run…you need any?”	“This latte is from the little deli in the Humanities building, but I like the ones made in the MFA café better.”
Appearance		Tattoos, and piercings and beards…oh my!

Note: I did not intend to convey a preference for either school in this post. If I failed...well maybe I can't help it.

What Amazon Says About My Life

Today I was thinking about what I have to offer the blogosphere by way of an update on my life. I don't have husbands or children to take pictures of, or to take pictures of me (oh darn). The pictures I do have look like this:

So instead, I'm going to provide a glimpse at my life as seen through the purchase recommendations I receive from the likes of Amazon, Groupon, etc.

Recommendation #1) The Little Mermaid (Two-Disc Platinum Edition) courtesy of Amazon. Fun fact about me, I really enjoy classic Disney movies and have been gathering DVDs for my collection. In this case however, I did not spring for the DVD....I'm not willing to pay $36 even if it is a special edition.

Recommendation #2) Catit Design Sense Grass Garden Kit . I have cats. Sometimes I buy them dumb stuff, Amazon knows it, and they're doing a great job getting me to buy even more. 

Recommendation #3) Pelikan 12 Color Opaque Watercolor Set courtesy of Amazon. No I have not taken up painting in my spare time. I wasn't actually sure why this was recommended but Amazon has this handy "Why recommended?" button, so I clicked on it and discovered that when you buy a popular psychology/self-improvement book, you must also be interested in painting. 

Recommendation #4) The Abolition of Man by C.S. Lewis courtesy of Amazon. I'd like to say I've been doing some philosophical/intellectual reading as of late but I haven't. I had the best of intentions when I bought five other C.S. Lewis books but I keep going back to books like The Da Vinci Code and Bossypants. 

Recommendation #5) Carpet cleaning courtesy of Groupon. They recommended this to me because I had purchased a Groupon for carpet cleaning in the past. You would think, since I already had my carpet cleaned, I wouldn't need another one...but you would be wrong. I have a cat with what I affectionately call "separation anxiety" but in actuality is probably just an issue of laziness. Whenever I am upstairs this cat refuses to go downstairs to use the litter box. Instead he chooses to use my sock drawer or my suitcase or just some corner of the carpet. So I need my carpets cleaned, again. 

Recommendation #6) Love courtesy of eHarmony, Match, ChristianMingle, and more! I dabbled in online dating but am currently on hiatus...what's astonishing is how many matches they suddenly have for me. Apparently by not participating in online dating, you become irresistible to online daters. If I'd known this I would have quit months ago. 

Consider yourself up-to-date. I like movies designed for young children but am too cheap to pay for platinum editions. I have cats. I buy self-help books and apparently ought to take up painting, or some other similar hobby. I read bourgeois books but aspire to greater literature choices. My carpets need to be cleaned because my cat won't leave my side. And finally....what you didn't need me to tell you, I am missing out on having that special someone in my life. 

If you're thinking about what Christmas present to get me I would be happy to send you the rest of my Amazon recommendations, they seem to be spot on.

Groupon Addiction

If you haven't tried Groupon or sites like it.....you've got to start! Here are just a few examples of how I've benefited:

• Cutlery - Well of course I don't have enough cutlery, how could I say no? (I now have at least 6 forks and 12 knives that have never been used - they just sit in the drawer and never make it into the rotation. Don't seem to have this problem with spoons.)
• Vitamins - Everyone always says I should take vitamins and now's my chance! Never mind the fact that they taste like alfalfa and I tried one and threw the rest out. It was a bargain so I really didn't waste money - only $40 when it should have been $80!
• Watch - I was thinking I might possibly need a watch and hey - 50% off! I've worn it once in a year but again, it was a deal so that's ok.
• Vietnamese/Mexican Fusion Cuisine - Oh that restaurant sounds good - I know it's 30 minutes away and I may not know anyone interested in this particular kind of fusion. But of course I'll come up with a reason to get there - it's such a great deal.
• Games - I love games, I'm sure I'll want to buy one soon so why not get a discount.
• Camelbak backpack - I was just on a hike the other day and envying someone's camelback - now I can have one of my own for the 2.3 hikes I take per year.
• Contact lenses (yes it really did get this bad) - I have to squint to read small print far away lately, so I bet I'll be needing some sort of vision help. I need to take advantage of this deal now for when I have to get them for real.* ** *** ****

*Note: You can't just buy lenses without a prescription. 
**Note 2: You need to find an eye doctor to check your vision - the little chart in the hall of the doctor'a office is not enough. 
***Note 3: If I were to need vision help, I'd have to go with glasses - I tried sticking something in my eye and it did not work. 
****Note 4: Upon trying some glasses on, I discover my ears are lopsided - now on the lookout for a Groupon for ear-adjusting plastic surgery

Profile Pictures

This post may apply to all social media outlets, blogs, you name it, but the primary motivation for this post comes from the world of online dating. Basically this is a list of don'ts for men, although some may apply to women also. I've ordered these by level of acceptability, with the completely unacceptable being at the bottom.

#1 - Don't use a photo of you with any face-blocking accessories on: goggles, masks, overly large hats, hoods, helmets and the like just make it seem like you're hiding something. Although, if you're trying to hide something, this may be a good strategy. Just remember that if someone sees a picture like this, they are going to look at your other pictures to see if you are in fact hiding something. If you are, hide it in all your pictures for maximum effect.

Clearly loves to scuba dive...but that's what the "interests/hobbies" sections of the profiles are for!

#2 - Don't take a picture of yourself in the mirror. When I see one of these, here are some of the thoughts that run through my mind:

-They knew they were going to use this as their profile picture and they chose that face/shirt/pose etc.? What message are they trying to send with that angry face? Or that Anime shirt? Or the gangster pose?

-That mirror is really dirty, and whatever is in the background looks dirty too. If filthiness is apparent even in a phone picture of you in the mirror, not ok.

-Did he need to work this hard to get a profile picture? Is he so vain he wanted to pose? Are his other "real life" pictures so bad he couldn't use them? Does he take mirror pictures of himself regularly?

Don't think a caption is necessary here.

Note: Pictures being taken using the camera on computers are more acceptable. However, don't use too many artsy effects....the result is not usually good. Also, these pictures are rarely flattering so I generally don't think it's a good idea.

Would you want to meet this guy for dinner alone? Pretty sure I've seen this photo on Law & Order SVU

#3 Don't ever use a shirtless photo for your profile picture unless you want to seem stupid, shallow and vain. I'm not saying there's no place for shirtless photos, but the only way they can be used without creating the aforementioned reputation is if they are candids and show you in a setting where being shirtless is completely expected. By this I mean boating, swimming, or on the beach...I actually can't think of any other scenarios that are appropriate. Bottom line...if a shirtless photo is the best asset you have for your dating profile then hopefully there are lots of girls out there with bikini pictures showing their best assets. I haven't ever seen any female dating profiles, but I'm sure they're out there, don't you worry. 

Horseback riding through water while shirtless...you know, how you do

#4 Never ever ever ever ever use a shirtless photo you took in the mirror. Under no circumstances should that be used on the internet, ever. I don't even think this needs explanation.

#5 Just don't be weird! Photos with inside jokes or special meanings should be saved for a later stage in a relationship. 

The caption on on this man's profile read, "Classic baseball under chin pose." 

Normalcy, that's what the profile picture should demonstrate...save the quirks, vanities or creativity for later.

*Note: All of the pictures in this post were taken from real profiles on real online dating sites (and believe me this is just a small sampling of the pictures that could have been used). Names will not be disclosed to protect identities...but if you know any of these people, maybe help them out?