An Announcement, a Request, and an Opinion

I've not been a responsible blogger over the last few months, I've been an infrequent poster, and my blog has not only been lacking in quantity but quality as well. So, in an effort to remedy this situation I've decided to take a break from school this semester. Instead I plan to work full-time and in my spare time I will hopefully be a more productive blogger. The problem is, I don't think these two things will fill all the hours in my day, so I'm looking for a good hobby. I thought about starting a pedigree circus rat breeding business, however I haven't been able to find any evidence that circus rats actually exist. (Note: The rat pictured here is just your average everyday rat with no circus talents.) Then I thought and thought and thought...and then I gave up. I am now counting on the readers of this blog to decide how I will use my newly gained free time...find me a hobby!



Well....for now this is my hobby so I'm just going to keep writing. I don't intend to turn my blog into my political soapbox, however I do just want to weigh in on the Obama inaugural address. I agree with many people in that his speech Tuesday was not the best we've heard from him in the last year. But the emotional, soaring rhetoric of his campaign speeches wouldn't have been appropriate in this speech. He needed to bring people back to reality a little bit in terms of their expectations of him and the country for the next four years without killing the hope that he tried so hard to create. He had to portray a stoic optimism, and I think he did by openly and bluntly acknowledging the challenges we are facing, while at the same time emphasizing the importance of hard work in making America's dream or any American's dreams possible.

Keys to the Game

We're about 7 hours away from kickoff here in New Orleans so it seems that now would be an appropriate time to list my 'Keys to the Game' for Utah. What makes me qualified to do this? Almost nothing, but hey, this is my blog and I think after the game it will be evident about how right I am.

First and foremost, we MUST prevent our offensive and defensive lines from being totally exhausted by the 3rd quarter. There has been a lot of talk about the size of the 'bama line in comparison to ours. Well, true it's nice for us that the Outland Trophy winner Andre Smith is suspended. However, on average the Alabama linemen outweigh ours by 50 lbs, on AVERAGE! Also, there is Terrence Cody, the man they call Mount Cody, partly because it's a place and partly because he is huge. He anchors their defensive line at 365lbs, yes that's right, a defensive lineman who weighs 365lbs. Our center weighs 305lbs and he's supposed to block a mountain all on his own? It's going to be tough. Oh, and did I mention they sometimes like to bring in Mount Cody as a blocking fullback just for kicks? A 365lb blocking fullback!

The second key is to make sure Brian Johnson gets into a passing rythm right from the get-go. Our first series should be nothing but passes, mostly short slants and into the middle stuff. Our offensive line is not going to be able to give him much time so he's got to be able to step up and make quick accurate passes. Ludwig has got to call plays at the beginning of the game which will build his confidence and put him in a good rythym.

The third key is for us not to force the run up the middle. Our linemen are going to get tired trying to block the mountain and all his buddies and if we continue to run right at them we're not going to last the whole game. I understand that we've got to get something going on the ground just to keep their defense honest and keep our pass options open, however the direct snap to the RB or the I-formation run straight up the middle is not the right way to do this. We've got use end-arounds, options, and whatever creative trick-plays Ludwig has up his sleeve to take advantage of the speed of some of our skill players against their sheer girth.

The fourth key....our secondary will have to play better than they have all year. Pass-rushing is going to be very difficult this game so our secondary has got to help pressure their QB by taking away his receivers and making sure no one is open.

The fifth and final key will be getting in Louie Sakoda's range. If we can consistently get into 40 yard field goal range we absolutely have a chance to hang around. Our offense has got to be able to do this.

Here's hoping we can pull off the upset against the rolling Crimson Tide....GO UTES!

Mexico by the Numbers

1 - The number of people sitting near me who threw up on our boat ride out to the island of Cozumel. I got stuck sitting next to a 13 year old girl who had seasickness issues, issues she was not aware of until this ferry ride. After about 10 minutes she was forced to relinquish all the contents of her stomach. I was fine for the most part, but listening to her dry heaving in between sobs made it difficult not to feel queasy. I felt bad for her, there are plenty reasons to be embarrassed in the life of a 13 year old without throwing up in front of a ferry full of people.

3 - The number of sharks we saw scuba diving. (Picture taken by me...not bad for my first time with an underwater camera.) They were just nurse sharks, and I’m told they don’t actually have any teeth, but still, I felt pretty brave for not swimming the opposite direction. (I didn’t have to as the sharks usually swam away from us.)

3 - Also the number of Mexican Christmas songs we heard while there. Not quite the same, a little more upbeat, like they were meant for salsa dancing, but still good to be reminded of the holidays while on sunny beaches with no hint of a coming ‘White Christmas’. When I heard the Mexican version of that song, I wondered if it really applied….they should change it to ‘Yellow Christmas’ or something more fitting for the climate.

30 - The number of the sunscreen most of our group wore. I however, wore none and am returning with a slight red tint to my skin. This I don’t mind so much, it’s the unevenness and strange lines that are unfortunate. I was sitting at the pool and got distracted watching all the fascinating people. There was a French couple sitting near me and the man decided he wanted to participate in the water aerobics class but did not have his swimming suit on. So, he had his wife hold up a towel while he changed…I’m not sure whether he thought this was sufficient coverage, or if he just didn’t care about his rear exposure. It was quite a sight to say the least, and that was just one of the partial nudity incidents that afternoon. Anyway, I got distracted by the people watching and neglected to perform the rotation required for even tanning.

43 - The number of pina coladas I drank, not an exact number but it’s close. All of them virgin of course, with the exception of one fairly sour drink brought to me by a fairly incompetent waiter. He wasn’t all that bad but he couldn’t hold a candle to Ernesto. Ernesto was my favorite waiter, at my favorite restaurant, and introduced to me my new favorite beverage. It’s called a mango tango…not sure exactly what’s in it, sort of half mango/half strawberry, and he made sure all my drinks were ‘sin alcohol’.

5 - The number of times I actually understood any of the Spanish that was spoken to me. I took Spanish for a few years in middle school and high school but the rate at which they speak in Mexico is totally beyond my ability to comprehend. The way they smile whenever they speak also confuses me, it’s not something I’m used to back in good old grumpy America, plus I am not a smiler. I would always end up smiling back, I had no idea what they were saying but it just seemed like the right thing to do, but then once they walked away I was left grinning like an idiot for no apparent reason. However, my face quickly snapped back into more normal, thoughtful, and less cheerful repose.
4 - The number of times we ate at my new favorite Asian cuisine restaurant located in none other than Playa del Carmen, Mexico. I was a little sad that we’d be missing out on the big Thanksgiving dinner back home but I realized my love for sushi at this place and it made a great Thanksgiving meal. Plus, the ice cream tempura was to die for…and I’m not usually a dessert person. (I think part of the appeal of this place was also the excellent service provided by Ernesto.)

4 - Also the number of double-bogeys I got in my 18-hole round of golf. Not terrible right? Except that those four holes were by far my best. I had a 74 on the first nine holes…that’s 38 over par.

2 - The number of papers I had due while in Mexico. One was a ten-pager on Jimmy Carter for which I hauled five library books all the way there. The second was a paper in which I was supposed to argue whether or not Philosophy and the Gospel are compatible. For any of you who think Philosophy is evil, or like one relative of mine, that I am putting my eternal salvation on the line by studying Philosophy, please let me know and I will send you my paper.

14 – The number of bags checked by my family alone. No, this does not include carry-ons, of which there were many, and yes, we thought we’d bring the whole house just to make our hotel in Mexico really feel like home.

19 – The number of people we were traveling with. The Woods: Dave (7), Nancy (Fancy), Hannah (Dolores), Adam (Slim Jim), Aaron (Air Bear), and Caleb (Christopher). The Andersons: Dave, Mindy (Cruise Director), Paige, Claire, and Jack (Double O). And my family, the Wests: Will (Tope), Lisa, Me, William, Peter, David, George, and Lucy. Trying to make your way around Mexico with this size group… it’s not easy and you get a lot of eyebrow raises. But they were a fun group to be with and made for a great trip.

Cave Person Day at the Palace Golf Club and Spa

Today we had the privilege of golfing at and enjoying the services of the Palace Golf Club and Spa in Playa Del Carmen, Mexico. However, it wasn't as glamorous as it sounds.

I started playing golf fairly recently, in fact the word 'playing' may be an exaggeration, I have the equipment and go through the motions but I still don't think I am justified in saying I play golf. My first time out I think I broke every single rule, every one. In attempt to be efficient and help my brother I apparently walked across his 'line' when I should have walked around and avoided the vicinity of his ball entirely. I also made the mistake, on several occasions, of taking a practice swing while someone was 'addressing the ball'. Being totally out of his sight, I thought this was acceptable, but apparently the swish of air caused by my club was a disruption to their zen-like state of concentration. I had a hard time keeping track of my shadow too, it had to be watched every minute lest it interfere with someone's concentration or strategy or whatever it is they were doing in the five minutes they took to stare at the ball, then the hole, then the ball, and the hole again. Normally when playing games at my house (Monopoly, Cards, etc.) we have some kind of time limit on turns which is usually supported and enforced by everyone. But all of a sudden the whole idea of timed turns went out the window in favor of totally silent, standing, staring acceptance of long, drawn-out indecision. Man alive! I have a hard time being instructed about polite behavior when my dad is the instructor, but when I got shhhh'd for groaning after someone's tenth practice swing, and reprimanded by my 11, 15, and 17 year-old brothers for impolite behavior, it was absolutely irritating and unacceptable! They took great pleasure in pointing out my stupidity. I was shocked that my brothers who have no problem burping loudly in the middle of a family dinner or spontaneously erupting in fistfights in public were turned into masters of restraint and propriety just because they were on a golf course. It was some kind of parallel universe where they were the smart and sophisticated ones who totally understand sports and I was the sloppy, stupid, cave-person who wandered into the path of flying golf balls, knocked branches off trees with inadvertent swings of her giant club, or the equivalent of someone who stands up and tells the refs to call traveling at a football game! I don't like being the blithering idiot, but I didn't give up. I wanted to get good, so good in fact that I could be the one who steps up, addresses the ball, hits a beautiful drive, and looks over my shoulder with that look that absolutely says 'That is how it's done.'

Unfortunately I'm not there yet. I spent most of our 18-hole round in the sand, although that was not due entirely to my lack of skill...this course had an unusually large number of sand bunkers. After hitting my first sand shot, an ugly one that barley cleared the sand and landed on the edge of rough between the bunker and the green, I thought I would head over to my ball and continue to play. So, that's just what I did. I was not aware of this unwritten golf rule that governs sand traps 'When one is in the sand, one leaves the bunker along the same path one went in. Then one erases every TRACE of evidence that one was ever present in the bunker." Like the cave person that I apparently become on the course, I had tromped across almost the entire thing and left footprints larger and deeper than I would like to admit. My putting woes continued today as well, every time I get that putter in my hand I seem to turn into Grog the alpha cave person who has to prove his strength by yelling "I am Grog, see me putt!!" and putting with great gusto (off the green in some cases).However, my prehistoric cave-dweller ways came roaring out much more when I arrived at the Spa. I had an appointment to get a massage, but I let someone else take it because, well because I didn't want to get one. I had my book, the sun, and a nice lounge chair and I didn't think a stranger greasing up their hands and rubbing them all over me would be any more relaxing than that. I did however decide to get the manicure and pedicure. I was a little nervous about the whole thing, mostly because we are in Mexico and I was worried about being the only English-speaker and not understanding what was going on. However, I realized that I am no more a minority or out-of-the-loop here than I am at hair salons back home. I walk in, am assigned one of the many blond hair-dressers, and they ask what I want done to my hair. I give my usual response "Cut a couple inches and color." Then the blondes start asking questions of me, the neanderthal brunette who doesn't understand words like 'layering' or colors like 'auburn', and I am reduced to grunting once again, "Cut same, color same." I can usually refrain from chest pounding, but there is a lot of awkward pointing. Once they decide what they are going to do with me though, I am usually pretty good at sitting still and not getting in their way.

Today however, was another story. The first thing I had to do was pick a color for my nails....once again more awkward pointing and some grunting, "Toes (point), fingers (point)." Then there was a lot of dipping, rubbbing, pruning, and generally strange hand stuff. I never knew where to put the hand that wasn't being worked on. At first I thought, oh I'll just follow where she puts the other hand. I learned that was the wrong thing to do when both of my hands would not fit in the tiny bowl of water she had placed my right hand into. She quickly removed my left hand and said, "No." It was like I was worse than a cave person, like I was a dog! While she was painting one finger, I apparently kept touching nails she had already painted to the cloth and my other fingers....she had to repaint one nail 4 times because I kept messing it up. We went over to the pedicure chair and I realized I still had my golf shoes on, "Not a problem," I thought, "I'll just take them off." So I reached down and started untying them. When Thelma turned around she twitched like she was about to reach down and stop me, but then she changed her mind. I think she'd given up. I just went on merrily untying, then when I was in the chair realized I had just messed up three nails. The most embarrassing part was yet to come however. Having never had a pedicure, I did not know that I apparently have very very ticklish feet. When Thelma started using the scrubby thing (no idea what that is called) and the little toe-bush thing (is there a technical name for this?) I giggled out loud. She stopped for a minute and I said, "Tickles." She nodded knowingly and bent low, working intently. Then it happened. My leg twitched, not a lot, but just a quick little tickle reflex, and my foot hit her face! I apologized profusely, she was fine, it was really only a tap. The real problem is that I couldn't stop giggling for the duration of the pedicure. It was ticklish, I was a little sleep deprived, and my foot hitting her face was kind of funny. Once again, I was the cave person, this time laughing at the slapstick humor of someone getting hit in the face! I walked out of the spa shamefacedly shoeless (I hadn't brought any shoes other than golf shoes and my nails hadn't dried)...just like cave persons of old.

Giving Thanks at Thanksgiving

As the most thankful of Thursdays approaches, I need to write the obligatory ‘What-I’m-Grateful-For’ post. I, like most people, have many things to be grateful for. I am hesitant to list them for fear of appearing unthankful for all the things I forget. I could say I am grateful on this day for Utah football, and believe me I am. I could say I am grateful for the opportunity to go to Cancun with my family (more on this in the coming days), and I am. I could say I am grateful for my family and friends, and I am. But today I am going to talk about how grateful I am for my roommates.

I am sitting on a plane on my way to Cancun and I keep thinking of everything I'm missing in Provo, and am kind of bummed I won’t see Ainsley, Becky, Brandi, Sally, or Whitney for a week. Lest you think I am a pathetic zoobie who’d rather be in Provo than Cancun, let me explain a little bit about each of them and maybe you’ll understand.

Ainsley is the mother of the apartment. She cooks for us regularly, and at least in my case, is always making sure homework gets done. Every Monday and Wednesday I come home to an empty apartment as everyone else is either in class or at work, but without fail the silence is broken by the sound of the dishwasher going. Why? Because Ainsley is the first one to get back from class and she ALWAYS does the dishes before heading off to work. She is tentatively majoring in Accounting but she does not have the hideously boring personality that typically accompanies Accountants. She’s just good with numbers, she has a gift and might as well take advantage of it before she pursues her real dream of going to Culinary School. She is Mary Poppins-like in that she is practically perfect in every way. It's a little annoying sometimes, having a perfect friend, but it's who she is and we've accepted it. I go to Ainsley when I need someone to roll their eyes at me and tell me to get back to work.

Becky is the decorator of our apartment. I have to admit that I was not that excited about going to live in Provo until I walked into our place for the first time. Becky made it feel like a home and I actually couldn’t wait to move in. One of the most endearing things about Becky is her laugh. It’s sort of difficult to describe, she laughs with her whole body, almost uncontrollably, and it’s almost impossible not to laugh once Becky gets going. I also enjoy the fact that she will laugh at almost anything and so she makes me feel like a top-of-the-line comedian…it’s good for my ego. Becky also provides us with a surprise in our living room on occasion, his name is Hunter. It’s happened several times that we’ve come out to find the two of them asleep on the couch, exactly where they were the night before. He’s a nice guy though, so we don’t mind too much. Besides, it’s kind of exciting waking up not knowing who may be sleeping on your couch…like living in some sort of youth hostile. I go to Becky when I want to rant and rave about Grey’s Anatomy. We share a passion for all things Grey’s.

Brandi is the athlete of the apartment. She is on the BYU lacrosse team and loves almost all athletic activities. She was very patient and taught me how to throw and catch with a lacrosse stick, she played with me for almost three hours. By the end I could actually catch and throw, but she had to put up with a lot of waiting around while I chased the ball and I think I even gave her a bruise due to my inability to aim. Brandi has boys galore but she doesn’t get carried away by the whole thing. She sees no conflict in having different boys for different geographic regions, in fact I think she prefers it that way. It’s less complicated. Brandi goes to bed early, by eleven every night, a fact which amazes us all. She is very insistent on getting her sleep, and for some reason doesn’t think sleeping until noon on the days she doesn’t have class is the right way to go. This I do not understand. I go to Brandi when I want some down-to-earth and practical perspective. She is always cool-headed and doesn’t get carried away with the ups and downs of every day life.

Sally is the one roommate we didn’t go to high school with, and we were a little worried about who we’d get stuck with. However, we all feel like we lucked out. She’s hard to describe, she’s got a lot of uh, spunk and is not afraid to say what she thinks. This is also good for my ego I think, although in a less pleasant and more humbling way. She is up until the early morning hours doing one of two things…studying or partying, hard. Sally is a Nutrition major and thus is in lots of science-type classes that would make me want to kill myself. She has a friend, Kristina who comes around fairly frequently, another one who may be sleeping on our couch when we wake up. Sally likes to share, she shares my bed, my lamp, my food, my pens, whatever she needs. It’s a little unnerving when I walk into my room and find her already occupying it but I guess it’s good, she’s helping me learn to share. I go to Sally when I need to pick a fight. She always wins when we argue, that’s probably because she’s louder than I am and all the other roommates think it’s funny to jump in on her side. I also go to Sally when I need a good laugh, she’s always good for a witty comment or at the very least a well-placed swear word.

Whitney is the social coordinator of the apartment. I don’t think there is one new person I’ve met that hasn’t been a result of her bringing them to the apartment. I guess that makes me kind of a recluse who won’t go out and proactively meet people, which makes me even more grateful for Whitney. She is also very studious, but has a bit of hard time choosing studying over sociality. She’s been given the nickname ‘Distracted’ due to her inability to concentrate on homework when people are having fun somewhere. I cannot count the number of times we’ve been sitting in the living room just talking when we’ll hear the disembodied voice of Whitney jumping into the conversation from down the hall where she is supposedly studying. She always manages to get her work done though, in fact she is one of the hardest workers I know. I’m pretty sure she never slept over the summer as she was insanely busy working two jobs and picking up overtime shifts in the middle of the night. I go to Whitney when I need a break from studying or sleeping and just need someone to talk to about whatever because she is a good listener and easy to distract from whatever she happens to be working on.

These are the people that I go home to, and I am thankful that I have the privilege of living with every one of them.

Year of the Ute

I don't have much to say about today's game, what could I say? BYU put up a good fight, they made some big mistakes but I think Utah earned this win. There was no better place to be today than Rice Eccles Stadium. I am proud to be a Ute fan, I look forward to our BCS game in January, and...Go Utes!

Hoods - Rain Protection We Can Believe In

Today was a rainy day, not in the figurative sense but literally a day with heavy precipitation, and when the rains came down the umbrellas came up. Unfortunately the manners that are necessary for the proper handling of these bumbershoots were totally absent. I am one of those who prefers toughing it out with a good hood covering my head rather than bothering with the cumbersomeness of umbrellas, but today it seemed that I had to put up with their incommodiousness without actually reaping the protective benefits. While walking around campus I was already pushing my luck trying to avoid objects, people, and puddles in my path with my hood seriously limiting my peripheral vision. I did not think to worry about the potentially eye-poking, or even blinding, spokes or the streams shooting off the edges of other peoples' umbrellas, and apparently neither did they! After a day full of unfortunate umbrella encounters and full of hope for the change this new administration will bring, I plan to petition for ethical umbrella use laws, one of which will be an absolute ban on the spinning of said umbrellas while in use. At the very least I will push for umbrella wielding licenses which will only be issued to those who can prove they have a good sense of common courtesy and self-awareness. We hooded people hope we have found our candidate of change in President Obama and look forward to his umbrella reforms.