Saturday, November 22, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
Hoods - Rain Protection We Can Believe In
Today was a rainy day, not in the figurative sense but literally a day with heavy precipitation, and when the rains came down the umbrellas came up. Unfortunately the manners that are necessary for the proper handling of these bumbershoots were totally absent. I am one of those who prefers toughing it out with a good hood covering my head rather than bothering with the cumbersomeness of umbrellas, but today it seemed that I had to put up with their incommodiousness without actually reaping the protective benefits. While walking around campus I was already pushing my luck trying to avoid objects, people, and puddles in my path with my hood seriously limiting my peripheral vision. I did not think to worry about the potentially eye-poking, or even blinding, spokes or the streams shooting off the edges of other peoples' umbrellas, and apparently neither did they!
After a day full of unfortunate umbrella encounters and full of hope for the change this new administration will bring, I plan to petition for ethical umbrella use laws, one of which will be an absolute ban on the spinning of said umbrellas while in use. At the very least I will push for umbrella wielding licenses which will only be issued to those who can prove they have a good sense of common courtesy and self-awareness. We hooded people hope we have found our candidate of change in President Obama and look forward to his umbrella reforms.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Democracy and Senior Citizens

Our Poll Manager was Sue, she had been the chief nurse of a 400-bed mobile army hospital (four times the size of a MASH unit) in the National Guard for 20+ years and now works at the King's English bookstore. She was very calm throughout, making sure some of the more excitable old folks kept their cool and that we all had plenty of breaks. She even initiated a little pool, we all were betting on how many voters we'd have by the end of the day...sadly I took third.

Rachel was our Provisional Judge, and the youngest worker....probably in her late 40s. She was given the nickname Deep Throat because she would get updates of election results on her phone and quietly relay them to us without letting the voters hear. (We were supposed to maintain complete political neutrality and not discuss politics in any way.)
Jeanne was the funny one in the group, a fifty-something year old English-major who came in wearing her daughters turquoise converse sneakers. She lead us all in a big cheer for each and every first-time voter who came in. She could always be counted on to know exactly how much time we had left...'six hours and 37 minutes!' When I was being too quiet she would say 'Alright Jennifer, let's turn the heat back on you...tell us why you're at BYU, or tell us about Philsophy.'
Anne was an almost-seventy year old English major with a fabulous vocabulary and a fiery competitiveness. She initiated a second contest, to see who could guess the time that we'd hit 500 voters. She beat me by 4 minutes and was tickled about it. At one point, when it was getting down to the wire, we had a man come in who had to vote on a provisional ballot. She was worried that I would count him in our tally and had he counted, I would have won, so she began saying 'He doesn't count, he's not in our books he's on provisional so his vote doesn't count!'. She made no attempt to keep her voice down and the man was looking concerned until Poll-Manager Sue went over to assure him that his vote would in-fact count.
Sue #2 was a 68 year-old originally from Montpeilier, Idaho who was sort of a math guru. When Poll-Manager Sue announced our original total numer of voters contest, Sue #2 spent almost an hour counting and calculating numbers to reach her guess. Unforunately her magical math did not give her the winning guess. Towards the end of the night as the number of voters dwindled to almost nothing, the rule of political neutrality went out the window. All of my left-leaning cowokers were letting Palin jokes fly and talking about moving to Canada or Mexico if the election didn't go their way. Sue #2 found all of this to be absolutely hilarious and would giggle to the point of tears. The sight of 68 year-old crying and shaking with laughter, on top of all the wittiness of the others made for lots of laughing all around.

We had a good crew and at the end of our fifteen hour-day I was sorry to leave their company. But, they had stopped their almost intravenous intake of coffee and were all quickly losing steam so they each gave me a hug, I felt like I had gained eight new grandparents, and we all hurried home to watch the numbers come in. Senior citizens may not be the most efficient folks, but they take their title of 'citizen' seriously. It's not easy for an 80 year-old to work from 5:30am to 9:00pm, no matter how much coffee they've got. Things like hearing aids, canes, sight problems, unsteady hands, and even poor memories don't make it any easier. But their age group seems to be the one that answers the call of civic duty. This 'slow-motion geriatric comedy of errors' was what allowed approximately 643 people to vote, and probably millions more across the country.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Birthday Reflections
The best part of birthdays is being reminded of all the great people in your life. Today I am grateful for these people, but somehow I never seem to be able to express this, or at least not to the extent I would like. To put it more eloquently and philosophically, "Compared with that good-will I bear my friend, the benefit it is in my power to render him seems small." (Emerson) Thanks everyone for making today a fabulous birthday.
Now here are some pictures from the the celebration of my two decades. (I am aware that 20 is not old, but being able to measure my age in decades makes me feel old. Not complaining though, I'm very happy to be officially out of the teenage years.)

This is the fabulous hamburger cake made by Ainsley, enjoyed and admired by all. I wanted to have a giant hamburger that looked like a cake, but that wasn't really doable so Ainsley made this for me instead. The most important thing? It was delicious.

And here are some people who came to eat the cake



Thanks to all, apologies to those who were not included in the blog pictures. You are still appreciated.
Now here are some pictures from the the celebration of my two decades. (I am aware that 20 is not old, but being able to measure my age in decades makes me feel old. Not complaining though, I'm very happy to be officially out of the teenage years.)
Here are four of my five roommates out for dinner at CPK: Ainsley, Sally, Whitney, and Becky.
This is the fabulous hamburger cake made by Ainsley, enjoyed and admired by all. I wanted to have a giant hamburger that looked like a cake, but that wasn't really doable so Ainsley made this for me instead. The most important thing? It was delicious.
And here are some people who came to eat the cake
Thanks to all, apologies to those who were not included in the blog pictures. You are still appreciated.
Monday, October 20, 2008
BYU Top Ten
For quite some time now I've been working on a list of the top reasons I enjoy being at BYU. It wasn't easy, I thought about giving up at 3 but I finally found a way to get it done, plus two. So here it is, Top Twelve Reasons BYU Isn't Really Completely All That Bad!
#12 - When you write the name of your school, you only have to write three letters.
#11 - You don’t have to worry about your roommate asking you to leave so she can get some ‘alone time’ with her boyfriend, she only asks that you type a little quieter so she can read her scriptures.
#10 - You don’t have to deal with wasted college students being stupid/weird/inappropriate. You get to deal with a bunch of college students being stupid/weird/inappropriate because that’s just who they are, and no amount of coffee or sleep will solve these hangovers.
#9 - You say the word Hell and 90% of the students are either scared of you or label you as a sinner, or both. Why is this a good thing? You've immediately found the 10% of students who are potential friends.
#8 - Volunteering to say the prayer at the beginning of class is a good way to get out of saying anything else through the entire class. If you didn't read or do the homework, say the prayer!
#7 - Again with prayer...you know when you walk into the testing center praying that your test is easy, you've got at least ten other classmates praying for the same thing, thus the chances that the big guy is on your side increase ten-fold.
#6 - You've get nearly 13 million members of the church paying for part of your education through tithing.
#5 - It's really easy to find. Once you see the mountain with the big cement Y stuck in the middle of it, then keep walking until you find yourself in a strange land completely devoid of caffeine. If that doesn't work, don't stress, remember 'The World is Our Campus', it's impossible to escape no matter where you are.
#4 - Every football game day you get to be a resident of the international community known as 'Cougar Town'. You don't even need a passport!
#3 - You get to experience what earth life would have been like under Satan's plan. Once you’re in, your agency is out. It’s good I guess, they want you to leave BYU with a strengthened appreciation for Christ. Nothing will make you more grateful that Lucifer got the boot.
#2 – You find peace from the confusion and confrontation of politics because you suddenly understand that the Republicans will be the ones in power during the Millennium. Bar-Who O-What-ma?
And the number one reason BYU is just not that bad....
#1 - You get to witness, up close and personal, the despair that ensues on the day when residents of Cougar Town everywhere realize their team's 'quest for perfection' is over. Last Thursday was that day thanks to TCU, and it was sweet. It's a gift that just keeps on giving, we got to re-live it a little bit yesterday when the first BCS Standings came out and Utah was at #11, TCU at #14, and BYU....#21. That is why, if for no other reason, I like being at BYU.
#12 - When you write the name of your school, you only have to write three letters.
#11 - You don’t have to worry about your roommate asking you to leave so she can get some ‘alone time’ with her boyfriend, she only asks that you type a little quieter so she can read her scriptures.
#10 - You don’t have to deal with wasted college students being stupid/weird/inappropriate. You get to deal with a bunch of college students being stupid/weird/inappropriate because that’s just who they are, and no amount of coffee or sleep will solve these hangovers.
#9 - You say the word Hell and 90% of the students are either scared of you or label you as a sinner, or both. Why is this a good thing? You've immediately found the 10% of students who are potential friends.
#8 - Volunteering to say the prayer at the beginning of class is a good way to get out of saying anything else through the entire class. If you didn't read or do the homework, say the prayer!
#7 - Again with prayer...you know when you walk into the testing center praying that your test is easy, you've got at least ten other classmates praying for the same thing, thus the chances that the big guy is on your side increase ten-fold.
#6 - You've get nearly 13 million members of the church paying for part of your education through tithing.
#5 - It's really easy to find. Once you see the mountain with the big cement Y stuck in the middle of it, then keep walking until you find yourself in a strange land completely devoid of caffeine. If that doesn't work, don't stress, remember 'The World is Our Campus', it's impossible to escape no matter where you are.
#4 - Every football game day you get to be a resident of the international community known as 'Cougar Town'. You don't even need a passport!
#3 - You get to experience what earth life would have been like under Satan's plan. Once you’re in, your agency is out. It’s good I guess, they want you to leave BYU with a strengthened appreciation for Christ. Nothing will make you more grateful that Lucifer got the boot.
#2 – You find peace from the confusion and confrontation of politics because you suddenly understand that the Republicans will be the ones in power during the Millennium. Bar-Who O-What-ma?
And the number one reason BYU is just not that bad....
#1 - You get to witness, up close and personal, the despair that ensues on the day when residents of Cougar Town everywhere realize their team's 'quest for perfection' is over. Last Thursday was that day thanks to TCU, and it was sweet. It's a gift that just keeps on giving, we got to re-live it a little bit yesterday when the first BCS Standings came out and Utah was at #11, TCU at #14, and BYU....#21. That is why, if for no other reason, I like being at BYU.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
There's No Place Like Home
We're a little over a month in to school down here Provo, so I don't think I can put off the back-to-school posts any longer. Turns out Provo isn't quite the awful center of the twisted zoobie universe I thought it was. Or maybe it is. If so, my apartment here has managed to remain a haven of sanity in the sea of self-righteousness. That is largely due to fabulous roommates, however a post about them will have to wait as I have yet to take any blog-worthy pictures of them. (Apparently post-shower towel shots are not eligible for blog posts) But for now, a short photo tour of the place itself will have to suffice...
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Note: Picture taken by me last November in Central Park.
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